


Whatever You Say

by BilletDoux



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Allusions towards sex, M/M, Nothing sexual actually happens in this fic they just talk about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BilletDoux/pseuds/BilletDoux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They fell in love in the rain and stayed in love despite it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever You Say

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative summary: "Bucky asks Steve about his first time like it's a totally normal best friend thing".  
> Another shout out to my friend Nat for helping me out with the editing. #1 Avacado.

"You're gonna wait for me to get back here to ya, right?" Bucky had slipped back into his naturally mild voice- but there existed some new inflection, something so sickly sweet that Steve knew it was only reserved for dames and himself. 

Outside, drops of rain made impact with the glass windows of their shoebox apartment and the asphalt of the street below, hitting hard like pebbles. A storm had knocked the power out for nearly five blocks in both directions about two hours ago. 

Steve would have deemed it a sign from God telling them both that Bucky wasn't supposed to leave when the sun came up in the morning, if it would have meant anything at all. 

The morning would still come, and Bucky would still be on his away across the ocean before Steve even woke up.  
The fading candle near their bed provided just enough light to illuminate the glistening sheen of sweat that covered Bucky's bare back and forearms. Faint flickers of golden light gave the outline of his body a halo-like glow that somehow also perfectly highlighted every gorgeous hill and valley of his build.

"I should be askin' you the same question," Steve responded, trying to fight off the veil of exhaustion he felt overtaking his senses. He had just partaken in far more physical activity than his body had ever been acquainted with and its consequences were no doubt going to bring hell upon him in the morning. "You're gonna be leavin' for months on end. Who knows how many pretty girls you're gonna get to meet over there? Won't even prolly have any time to be thinkin’ of me, anyways," Steve commented before he close his eyes and stretched his muscles, ready to let sleep take him. Bucky, however, was not about to let those be the last words exchanged by them possibly ever.

Steve was shaken from his potential coma by the rough pads of Bucky's fingers embracing the narrow edges of his ribs, his hands finding their place on his hip bones. It sent a shiver up his spine and made all the hairs on his arms and neck stand on edge.  
Steve examined his best friend's intense gaze. Bucky's pale blue eyes, always reminiscent of the Hudson River, on their own, were nearly enough to make Steve tremble a second time.

"What's with that look, soldier?" Steve asked, hands going to muss Bucky's regularly well-kept hair. He liked it that way.

"Whatever happens," Bucky threw an arm over Steve's bony torso, making him sink a tad bit further into the mattress, and his left hand went for Steve's so they could intertwine fingers, "It's always gonna end up bein' you and me, doll. 'Til the end of the line." With the last word of a statement that sounded as if it had come straight from some type of corny romantic picture, Bucky lightly touched their foreheads together.

"Don't call me doll," Steve said ever-so-softly, turning the sides of his mouth up into a smile.  
Bucky placed a soft kiss to those grinning lips, as if he feared he would break Steve if he pressed too hard. The rain fell more lightly now, the muted sounds of the city filling their ears once again.

If Steve had truly supposed that storm to be be a sign from God, it'd be telling them that they were meant to stay there forever. Feeling perfect and warm and safe. Living in their shitty apartment until the end of days.

"Whatever you say."

 

Steve woke up alone. 

~*~*~*

"Steve, will you tell me 'bout your first time?"

Bucky asked questions now. His mind was a dam that sprung new leaks every day, flooding him with the memories of who he use to be.  
Some questions were easier to answer than others. On any given day Steve would rather him ask a question like _"Which apartment you say we lived in again,"_ than, _"Whatever happened to Howard Stark?"_

While these questions sometimes bordered on awkward, none were ever as straightforward as this one. 

The two of them had been lying beside one another in bed and holding a casual conversation. The only light that dared to enter the near pitch-black room came from the street.  
While Steve had offered Bucky a room to himself, both of them found it a lot more comfortable to be in the presence of someone they knew. It made sleeping come a lot easier.

"That came out of nowhere, Buck," Steve said, using his pillows to sit up a little more straight. He watched as Bucky turned to face him, his head resting on the palm of his hand. "Why are you askin' me that?"

"Figured if you told me about your first time it'd shake something loose in me. I'd probably end up remember something about my own sex life."  
Steve hated that smug smile.

"Please?"

Well. How could he say no to a please? With a reluctant sigh, Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and thought for a minute. Sorting out all of the events in his mind. How much did he still remember?

A lot.  
He could still almost feel the warm hands on his skin.

"Alright," Steve said, shifting into a more comfortable position and crossing his arms against his chest. He took another Breuer pause before speaking. "He was-"

"He?" Bucky interrupted, now moving to sit up against the headboard. _"Captain."_ He gasped mockingly.  
Steve snickered and rolled his eyes, not that Bucky would have been able to see it anyway.

"Are you going to let me finish, James?"  
"Yeesh, you sound like a teacher." Bucky teased, lightly punching Steve's arm. "Go right ahead, Mr. Rogers."

"As I was saying, he and I had known each other for years. Nicest guy I knew. Real popular with all the girls, and it wasn't really hard to see why. Dark hair, strong, the most immaculate blue eyes… Anyway, turns out he had joined the army. I was heartbroken, sure I was never gonna see this guy again."

Bucky had gone silent and rigid, all his attention deadly set to Steve's words. His hands bunched into the fabric of the blankets and he had to be careful not to tear them.

" 'Course you know just as well as I do that we couldn't even have been a couple if we wanted, it being illegal at the time." Steve could feel the slightest hints of emotion rising in his voice, the long buried Brooklyn accent threatening to force its way through.

"He wanted to protect me, told me it'd end up being safer for the both of us if we just settled down with a couple of nice girls. That was all fine and well but… I didn't want safe. I've never wanted safe. I loved him. Maybe it would have spared us both a lot of pain if I would have just listened, but I wasn't interested in no one else but him."  
Steve felt Bucky's hand gently slip onto his knee in and give a light squeeze. He took another deep breath and continued to talk.

"I knew that the night before he shipped off would be my only chance. He wouldn't say no because he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him, and we were both so afraid he'd never be comin' home again.

Some wicked type of storm came in, knocking the power out just around eight, I think. Him and I were layin' there in bed talkin' 'bout nothin' like we normally did. It wasn't as if we had a lot of light in that apartment to being with, mind you, but that storm got rid of the little we did have. We got out a couple of candles and lit 'em next to the bed because neither of us were just ready to go to sleep yet. I didn't waste much time after that, knowing it was now or never at that point. I kissed him without warning. Caught him off-guard, I think. Didn't seem to mind too much though. He loved kissin' me."

Steve stopped for a minute to read what he could of Bucky's expression. In the dark he could tell how focused it was, like he was trying to imagine the scene himself.

"I started pullin' clothes off. Mine, then his. There was only a bit of muffled protest from his end, but nothing he acted on.  
Threw myself against the mattress and pulled him down on top of me. I remember both of us being terrified. Truthfully, we didn't have the faintest idea of what we were doing. He was so afraid of hurtin' me. You know just as well as I do that I was a lot more fragile back then."  
Bucky's hand squeezed harder.  
"Won't ever forget what he told me. ‘Can't be too different than doin' it with a dame, right?’ Like I had any idea how it was done with dames, anyway."  
Both of them let out short huffy laughs, ones that sounded more like sighs than laughter.

"I remember it hurtin' bad at first. Not bad enough to make him stop, though. Thankfully that didn't last too long and… And his face… I'd be seeing that face in my dreams for the rest of my life." Steve just about lost his train of thought thinking about it. His felt his skin go hot. God, he had to be at least eight different shades of red at this point.  
"Never wanted him to leave, but I knew he'd have too.  
He asked me if I was gonna wait for him. I told him that he probably wouldn't even think of me when he was gone. Halfway across the world? Imagine the girls he could meet there. I said it as a joke, but it sort of wasn't. I knew who I was and I knew who he was. That would probably be the only time me and him would ever be like that again, even if he did come home. But he wasn't havin' that. Told me no matter what it'd just be me and him. I don't know if I believed him or not, but I remember being happy. And, for that moment, happy was good enough for me." Steve coughed "he used this dumb nickname, too... He called all the girls by it, but it… It felt more personal with me for some reason. It was-"

"Doll."

It was the first time Bucky had spoken since Steve started his story. And when did he get so close? Before Steve had even a second to react Bucky settled in his lap, both hands going to cup the sides of his face. The sleek metal of Buck's left arm felt cold upon contact.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
"I didn't think you were ready yet, Buck," Steve admitted. His hands went and undid the ponytail holding back Bucky's now shoulder length hair. They were quiet for a minute. The building tension in the air felt like a loaded gun. Steve spoke again.

"You ever gonna cut this off?"  
Bucky snickered. "What? You don't like my new ‘do, doll?"  
"Don't call me doll," Steve said softly. 

Suddenly, it was 1940 again. Steve was a 98 pound five-foot nothing art student from Brooklyn. Bucky pressed their foreheads together and sighed gently.

"Whatever you say."

Steve woke up next to Bucky, bodies pressed against one another and fingers laced together.

This was safe.  
This was heaven.  
This was home.


End file.
